"Can't anybody here play this game?"

FIG. A · GENERAL FAN

— CASEY STENGEL, MANAGER, 1962

Casey Stengel asked in 1962.
Sixty-three years of data have answered.

A scientifically rigorous, lovingly brutal data platform documenting the New York Mets' historic collapses and systemic underperformance across two distinct eras of failure.

● 15 documented entries ● 6 ML models ● 1 unanswered question

The Metsiest Mets Index

A composite score (0–100) measuring how thoroughly a Mets season embodied the specific, documented, historically consistent pattern of being the Mets. Five components, each scored 0–20. Methodology →

All-time MMI leader 98/ 100

Years since World Series 39and counting

Bonilla checks remaining 10through 2035

Marlins elim. losses 3'07 · '08 · '25

40 years since last title · $29.8M owed to Bobby Bonilla · 4 Marlins eliminations · p = 0.0004 · 15 documented collapses · 1 unanswered question

The Leaderboard

The chapters are listed in MMI order. The reader enters at the top — the most Mets moment in franchise history — and works down.

Sorted by Metsiest Mets Index ▾
15 entries · Updated May 2026

— Live

2026IN PROGRESS

Oh Shit, Here We Go Curse Probability: 73.2%. Just swept by Miami. Semien hitting .198. Williams 5.40 ERA. $340M payroll. The pattern is forming.

88–100 projected range

MMI Components
(0–20 each)

01 · Expectation Gap

Predicted wins minus actual wins. Higher gap, more Mets.

02 · Collapse Quotient

Peak playoff probability minus final. Weighted by lateness.

03 · Opponent Specificity

Were they eliminated by the Marlins? Add points.

04 · Dollar Damage

Payroll percentile at time of collapse.

05 · Historical Rhyme

Does this failure echo a previous failure?

LIVE · Fan Misery Index

The emotional cost, quantified in real time.

Sentiment analysis of r/NewYorkMets. Weighted keyword matching, activity volume spikes, and engagement patterns. Mets-specific amplifiers apply: mentions of the Marlins or September increase the score.

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/ 100

30-day trend · r/NewYorkMets

Signature Visualization

The Three-Collapse Overlay

The 2007, 2008, and 2025 playoff-probability curves on the same axes. The reader is invited to identify which year is which before the labels appear. They cannot. That is the point.

Open 2025 case file →

Central Quantitative Finding

The Curse Coefficient

p = 0.0004

The combined probability that the Mets' cumulative underperformance — concentrated in September, concentrated against specific opponents — occurs by chance in any 37-year window across any franchise in baseball.

The number is the verdict.

Bobby Bo Day · Updated July 1

The Inflation Index

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